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  • Mood: Relief
  • Listening to: silence
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: Milena Velba's huge boobs
  • Playing: I wish I was playing with Milena Velbas huge boobs
  • Eating: spaghetti
  • Drinking: water
      I decided to change my course in the art game. Pretty much after this con season I'm done selling at cons until I can find some way to cover the costs myself. My buddy sacrificed quite a bit financially and supported me through this venture for 5 yrs now. He believed in my work when not many did. He put down his money,resources and time to help get me this far. Instead of  straining our friendship I just decided that after this con season I'm done.

  I am not saying that I am not grateful for all that he has done for me and what he had to put up with.If I had to go through all this again I would. I learned a lot and grew as a person going through this venture with him.So my,buddy and partner Luis Avalos aka SweetChorizo aka The Coondog has my eternal thanks for all that he has done for me the past 5 yrs. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

So.......

Here are my final Cons for now.

August 2nd  Kin yoobi con

August 8th & 9th  Stockton Con

September 4th - 6th SacAnime

Oct      Sac Con



Shameless Plug time!!!!

I plan on not selling anymore of my work in print form after this con season. I consider this my farewell tour so make sure you come buy and take advantage of my $5 (8 x 11) and $15 (for 11 x 17) con sketch deal. All prints are buy 2 get 1 free! I will be offering sketch cover comics I''ve drawn as prizes when you purchase a Boobtube! Help me go out with a bang by showing your support by buying my work.Who knows if we do really well and sell out I might decide to just do a few cons next year.
     
 I will continue drawing.So no need to worry. I will just be working on my own stuff and some naughty stuff ^_^. I will sttill accept commissions as well.To all my con fans its been fun and thanks for coming by our table and buying our stuff every year.You  have my thanks.I'll try to whip out some fan appreciation fan art by Stockton con.
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: the voices in my head
  • Reading: This mind vomit of a journal I wrote
  • Watching: Milena Velba's huge boobs
  • Playing: I wish I was playing with Milena Velbas huge boobs
  • Eating: Chinese pork buns
  • Drinking: pepsi
I often feel as a person as well as an artist that I am just not destined for greatness.I strive to be great but I would be happy just being acknowledged as being good.

I should be working harder yet I'm still putting in the work.
I should be more creative and take more risks with my work. I'm creative in other ways just not in terms of being more dynamic.Being more dynamic exposes more flaws.

yadda yadda (insert more excuses here)

My mental game is not as strong as it should be.At the same time I feel I'm not getting or receiving the emotional/financial support from others outside my circle of friends to fuel the passion to keep doing this art thing. My reasons for doing the art thing are more financial than anything. And I am quite open about that fact. Sadly not many are interested in the skills I do provide. I question on whether or not I am good enough. I noticed that Iam better than I was since I decided to put myself in the art game. I'm sure some of my peers probably think I might be delusional concerning my artwork.Some may feel that my artwork is not as good as I think it is.

I' m not delusional.I realize that I got a long way to go.I'm not at all pleased with most art projects I produce.But I am satisfied and confident enough in my work to show it off.Maybe that's it?! Am I being a show off o_o?

I do admit that I am a bit of an attention whore. I get my jollies and boost in self esteem and confidence feeding off of the praise showered upon me and my work.All my life I yearned and wanted to be acknowledged by others. I always wanted a large group of friends or a tight entourage of them.When I took choir I wanted to become the lead on some songs.I felt my voice was good enough. I guess it wasn't.
When I was a kid and a teenager I always sought the attention of others.I was like a hyper puppy that  would constantly be playful and yap at others heels. I would build others up and support them in order to get attention.I was always nice and supportive. I still got over looked. I then thought sharing my random knowledge(As a kid I read Encyclopedia's and National geographic magazines for fun) would show people I'm smart and know shit. All it did was get me branded a nerd through grade and middle school.Even my own family feel that I know too much random shit but feel I'm not smart enough to know other important shit.

.....I guess I've always been overlooked,under appreciated, and under valued as an individual most of my life. Heh most people won't even pay my $15 sketch commission prices.Only time my services are needed is when people ask if I can do it for free. It irks me that more often  than not I feel like the kid who always gets picked last to play games. Even when I do my best and have a decent game I still feel unwanted and get treated as a role player that no one wants.

...I'm sure some will say  its just all in my head.Or I don't work hard enough.Or "your ok but you depend too much on others to get you to where you need to go. I can't deny those flaws are a part of who I am.But is it that obvious to other people?To the point where I can't be given a fair chance to prove myself.

 There is a lot of bullshit,intangibles,politics, and hate that go on in peoples actions and decision making. Over the last 5 yrs I've been calling others on it. At times I hit the mark and sometimes I totally fail in even getting in range of the target. I also call myself out on my own bullshit so much to the point I end up writing and posting nonsense like I'm writing now.

I'm almost at a lost in what direction my"character"( my public persona) should take.

Should I be more humble?(Pshh..I got too much ego and pride for that.Being humble too much shows a lack in self worth and acknowledgement in ones strengths)

Should I be more less of a prick? ( Maybe.I'm an all around nice guy.But I have a huge intolerance to bullshit. Even though I'm a master at it myself.Only because of the fact I know myself so well I will openly own up to it if I'm called on it.Since everyone is so PC these days you can't really say what you think even in a nice way with someone getting butt hurt)

Yadda yadda(insert more excuses)

 All I know is that this is my Put Up or Shut Up year. And so far its been pretty uneventful as far as moving forward doing this art thing. I'm putting my work out there but got no takers. I have to either under price it or  do work for free. It pisses me off that there are many others who are not in this predicament who are not as good in terms art skills. I'm not hating on their hustle because a lot of us are hustling.That's a given.Its just some  have uncanny luck or way of connecting with people that gives them an edge. I admit I am not the most likable person to the point people just like me. Even when I was more likable I still got ignored and crapped on.So why bother kissing every one's ass now.

A lot of artists these days have the mindset of a hobbyist but have the instinct of a pro.Quite a few got pro skills but don't want to sharpen them up enough to get into the pro game.Or some of them are pros in an art related career but choose to make some extra bucks selling at cons Many of these artists clog up the anime con artist alley scene.

Recently I got into  a debate and a guy tried to gave me some advice. Saying everything is all about me. "Why hate on what others are doing?You need to look in the mirror and just work on yourself and your skills." Its not wrong.Its just  the most common sense and typical cliched thing to say. Its hard to tell this to someone who has self esteem issues,who constantly works on their skills, and get often over looked to buy into something like that. Especially when you choose a field where the majority of your success depends more so on  other people liking your work or not.No matter how much time and effort you put into it if your not charismatic or good enough to  people will not like you or your work.

Appearances in the art game do matter.

Is that it?! Do I not have my shit together to the point that people see it in my art work O_O?...Hm maybe.But if that was the case when I did have my shit together(ie working,in school, was more social,dating,and much better looking) I would have had a lot more attention. No one was throwing money at me to draw anything.I was drawing just for the creative aspects and to show off.

Ugh...I'm getting a headache. Am I the only one that thinks about all this bullshit?

Things are not all bad. I got some bit(a tiny bit) of street cred.I have one person(Thx for your support C Dubya) who doesn't mind commissioning me to do art work.My work is received moderately well.Luis has even almost exhausted his finances one year ago to keep our venture afloat.Thank you bro.My family does kinda support what I do. I had opportunities to collab with other good artists. And made some money.

Sadly I won't more. I'm competitive and I would like to do this as a living.Its hard to to be successful doing the con AA scene.But I know some who are. At the same time it feels that it takes a lot to shatter that glass ceiling of mediocrity that is looms over the AA scene. Your pretty much in the art D leagues. Yeah your good enough to profit off your work.But not enough to where you make a decent living doing it.Which is why there are a lot of art hobbyists with actual day jobs who do AA's as a side venture.Unless you been in the industry and got hella street cred its hard for you to crack that glass ceiling.Even then nothing is guaranteed.

(Sigh).....I guess I got no real choice but to be the best  over looked artist in the California.I got too much pride,confidence, and ego to just stop drawing.I even got a few fans who would miss me if I just walked away from doing art.Not too mention I talked a lot of shit about being the best,putting up or shutting up,yadda yadda, I would look like a huge hypocrite if I stopped now.

......I really need to get laid -_-.
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: the voices in my head
  • Reading: This mind vomit of a journal I wrote
  • Watching: Milena Velba's huge boobs
  • Playing: I wish I was playing with Milena Velbas huge boobs
  • Eating: Chinese pork buns
  • Drinking: pepsi
I often feel as a person as well as an artist that I am just not destined for greatness.I strive to be great but I would be happy just being acknowledged as being good.

I should be working harder yet I'm still putting in the work.
I should be more creative and take more risks with my work. I'm creative in other ways just not in terms of being more dynamic.Being more dynamic exposes more flaws.

yadda yadda (insert more excuses here)

My mental game is not as strong as it should be.At the same time I feel I'm not getting or receiving the emotional/financial support from others outside my circle of friends to fuel the passion to keep doing this art thing. My reasons for doing the art thing are more financial than anything. And I am quite open about that fact. Sadly not many are interested in the skills I do provide. I question on whether or not I am good enough. I noticed that Iam better than I was since I decided to put myself in the art game. I'm sure some of my peers probably think I might be delusional concerning my artwork.Some may feel that my artwork is not as good as I think it is.

I' m not delusional.I realize that I got a long way to go.I'm not at all pleased with most art projects I produce.But I am satisfied and confident enough in my work to show it off.Maybe that's it?! Am I being a show off o_o?

I do admit that I am a bit of an attention whore. I get my jollies and boost in self esteem and confidence feeding off of the praise showered upon me and my work.All my life I yearned and wanted to be acknowledged by others. I always wanted a large group of friends or a tight entourage of them.When I took choir I wanted to become the lead on some songs.I felt my voice was good enough. I guess it wasn't.
When I was a kid and a teenager I always sought the attention of others.I was like a hyper puppy that  would constantly be playful and yap at others heels. I would build others up and support them in order to get attention.I was always nice and supportive. I still got over looked. I then thought sharing my random knowledge(As a kid I read Encyclopedia's and National geographic magazines for fun) would show people I'm smart and know shit. All it did was get me branded a nerd through grade and middle school.Even my own family feel that I know too much random shit but feel I'm not smart enough to know other important shit.

.....I guess I've always been overlooked,under appreciated, and under valued as an individual most of my life. Heh most people won't even pay my $15 sketch commission prices.Only time my services are needed is when people ask if I can do it for free. It irks me that more often  than not I feel like the kid who always gets picked last to play games. Even when I do my best and have a decent game I still feel unwanted and get treated as a role player that no one wants.

...I'm sure some will say  its just all in my head.Or I don't work hard enough.Or "your ok but you depend too much on others to get you to where you need to go. I can't deny those flaws are a part of who I am.But is it that obvious to other people?To the point where I can't be given a fair chance to prove myself.

 There is a lot of bullshit,intangibles,politics, and hate that go on in peoples actions and decision making. Over the last 5 yrs I've been calling others on it. At times I hit the mark and sometimes I totally fail in even getting in range of the target. I also call myself out on my own bullshit so much to the point I end up writing and posting nonsense like I'm writing now.

I'm almost at a lost in what direction my"character"( my public persona) should take.

Should I be more humble?(Pshh..I got too much ego and pride for that.Being humble too much shows a lack in self worth and acknowledgement in ones strengths)

Should I be more less of a prick? ( Maybe.I'm an all around nice guy.But I have a huge intolerance to bullshit. Even though I'm a master at it myself.Only because of the fact I know myself so well I will openly own up to it if I'm called on it.Since everyone is so PC these days you can't really say what you think even in a nice way with someone getting butt hurt)

Yadda yadda(insert more excuses)

 All I know is that this is my Put Up or Shut Up year. And so far its been pretty uneventful as far as moving forward doing this art thing. I'm putting my work out there but got no takers. I have to either under price it or  do work for free. It pisses me off that there are many others who are not in this predicament who are not as good in terms art skills. I'm not hating on their hustle because a lot of us are hustling.That's a given.Its just some  have uncanny luck or way of connecting with people that gives them an edge. I admit I am not the most likable person to the point people just like me. Even when I was more likable I still got ignored and crapped on.So why bother kissing every one's ass now.

A lot of artists these days have the mindset of a hobbyist but have the instinct of a pro.Quite a few got pro skills but don't want to sharpen them up enough to get into the pro game.Or some of them are pros in an art related career but choose to make some extra bucks selling at cons Many of these artists clog up the anime con artist alley scene.

Recently I got into  a debate and a guy tried to gave me some advice. Saying everything is all about me. "Why hate on what others are doing?You need to look in the mirror and just work on yourself and your skills." Its not wrong.Its just  the most common sense and typical cliched thing to say. Its hard to tell this to someone who has self esteem issues,who constantly works on their skills, and get often over looked to buy into something like that. Especially when you choose a field where the majority of your success depends more so on  other people liking your work or not.No matter how much time and effort you put into it if your not charismatic or good enough to  people will not like you or your work.

Appearances in the art game do matter.

Is that it?! Do I not have my shit together to the point that people see it in my art work O_O?...Hm maybe.But if that was the case when I did have my shit together(ie working,in school, was more social,dating,and much better looking) I would have had a lot more attention. No one was throwing money at me to draw anything.I was drawing just for the creative aspects and to show off.

Ugh...I'm getting a headache. Am I the only one that thinks about all this bullshit?

Things are not all bad. I got some bit(a tiny bit) of street cred.I have one person(Thx for your support C Dubya) who doesn't mind commissioning me to do art work.My work is received moderately well.Luis has even almost exhausted his finances one year ago to keep our venture afloat.Thank you bro.My family does kinda support what I do. I had opportunities to collab with other good artists. And made some money.

Sadly I won't more. I'm competitive and I would like to do this as a living.Its hard to to be successful doing the con AA scene.But I know some who are. At the same time it feels that it takes a lot to shatter that glass ceiling of mediocrity that is looms over the AA scene. Your pretty much in the art D leagues. Yeah your good enough to profit off your work.But not enough to where you make a decent living doing it.Which is why there are a lot of art hobbyists with actual day jobs who do AA's as a side venture.Unless you been in the industry and got hella street cred its hard for you to crack that glass ceiling.Even then nothing is guaranteed.

(Sigh).....I guess I got no real choice but to be the best  over looked artist in the California.I got too much pride,confidence, and ego to just stop drawing.I even got a few fans who would miss me if I just walked away from doing art.Not too mention I talked a lot of shit about being the best,putting up or shutting up,yadda yadda, I would look like a huge hypocrite if I stopped now.

......I really need to get laid -_-.
League of Legends Jinx pencils by Bfetish
League of Legends Jinx pencils
Yeah its flawed but I had fun drawing it. I feel I can relate to this chic.I just want to give the finger to all the bullshit I still got to deal with.Sadly it seems that I won't be able get this colored  soon because everyone got shit to do. Eh it is what it is. I guess its time to go to become a "jack of all trades" like most young artists these days.
Loading...
Mikasa Ackerman Attack On Titan colors by 7Caco by Bfetish
Mikasa Ackerman Attack On Titan colors by 7Caco
AJ did another great color job.The line quality on this wasn't very good on my part. The inks bled into the paper so the line work was meh. I knew that AJ would work his magic and make it look good. He really saved my ass with this color job.

Drawn by me
Colors by 7caco.deviantart.com/
Loading...
  • Mood: Relief
  • Listening to: silence
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: Milena Velba's huge boobs
  • Playing: I wish I was playing with Milena Velbas huge boobs
  • Eating: spaghetti
  • Drinking: water
      I decided to change my course in the art game. Pretty much after this con season I'm done selling at cons until I can find some way to cover the costs myself. My buddy sacrificed quite a bit financially and supported me through this venture for 5 yrs now. He believed in my work when not many did. He put down his money,resources and time to help get me this far. Instead of  straining our friendship I just decided that after this con season I'm done.

  I am not saying that I am not grateful for all that he has done for me and what he had to put up with.If I had to go through all this again I would. I learned a lot and grew as a person going through this venture with him.So my,buddy and partner Luis Avalos aka SweetChorizo aka The Coondog has my eternal thanks for all that he has done for me the past 5 yrs. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

So.......

Here are my final Cons for now.

August 2nd  Kin yoobi con

August 8th & 9th  Stockton Con

September 4th - 6th SacAnime

Oct      Sac Con



Shameless Plug time!!!!

I plan on not selling anymore of my work in print form after this con season. I consider this my farewell tour so make sure you come buy and take advantage of my $5 (8 x 11) and $15 (for 11 x 17) con sketch deal. All prints are buy 2 get 1 free! I will be offering sketch cover comics I''ve drawn as prizes when you purchase a Boobtube! Help me go out with a bang by showing your support by buying my work.Who knows if we do really well and sell out I might decide to just do a few cons next year.
     
 I will continue drawing.So no need to worry. I will just be working on my own stuff and some naughty stuff ^_^. I will sttill accept commissions as well.To all my con fans its been fun and thanks for coming by our table and buying our stuff every year.You  have my thanks.I'll try to whip out some fan appreciation fan art by Stockton con.

deviantID

Bfetish's Profile Picture
Bfetish
Montreal Mack
Artist | Professional | Traditional Art
United States
Well I'm back,pretty much full time. The real world is kicking my ass but I'm kicking back. I'm going to be posting a crap load of new pieces.So be sure to leave a comment of praise or critcism.

I'm an older guy and pretty easy going. This drawing thing I do is all I got to leave something of myself to let the world know I do exist.

Current Residence: Stockton CA
Favourite genre of music: J pop,R&B,some Hip Hop,some Rock,and some of everything else.
Favourite photographer: none yet
Favourite style of art: Old fashioned. Just plain old pencil to paper.
Favourite cartoon character: Jinx(Gi Joe the Movie.)
Personal Quote: none yet.
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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconkaname-chan:
kaname-chan Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2015
Thank you for the fav on my tease drawing. :)
Reply
:iconbfetish:
Bfetish Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconizunaotoshi:
IzunaOtoshi Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015
Thanks for the :+devwatch: back, your sketches are great :)
Reply
:iconbfetish:
Bfetish Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
You're welcome.Thx ^_^
Reply
:icondreamerofexistence:
DreamerOfExistence Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015
Hey, I remember that not too long ago you watched me on my first account iAmCloudSky

& I'm really thankful that you took interest in me, & decided you'd support me. But awhile back, I decided I'd make a newer account, & pursue a new path. & so, here I am.

If you'd like to watch me on here instead, it's appreciated.  

Keep in touch! & even get to know each other a bit. We might just be two people behind a screen, but that doesn't mean that we can't be friends.

Thank you.
Reply
:iconbfetish:
Bfetish Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Cool.I'll check your new page out.
Reply
:icondreamerofexistence:
DreamerOfExistence Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015
<3 Thanks!
Reply
:icontimphillips:
TimPhillips Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the add!
Reply
:iconwish-academy:
Wish-Academy Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Welcome to :iconnation-horizon: !
and thank you for the fave
Reply
:iconterramarmsxiii:
TerramArmsXIII Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
this line art work is so good! well done!
Reply
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